some backstory on fxywlf + do this exercise right now!

Hi loves!

Two quick things... 

1. I caught my daughters cold, but I’m surviving. Barely. :) Believe it or not, our bodies are such such smart “machines”, as they are always tells you what you need to know or help you do what you need to do. 

In my case, I’ve been resting, relaxing, doing mantra repetition (to counter any non-intuitive thoughts that pop up that are counter to my current inner work) - and also catching up on some movies (The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo series + Another Life). 

2. What I hooked you up with on Friday.

On Friday, I closed off the week by sharing with you 5 things to do, when you don’t know what to do. Which is so important, especially when you want to be creative and create your reality but don’t even know where to begin.

You learned... 

●  How to be honest with yourself 
●  How to be cool with where you are right now 
●  How to control your inner control freak
●  Lastly, how to start saying yes to the universe

But I realized after writing that entire post that I left out one of the most important lessons I learned after doing this for the past 20 years! 

Before we get to that I have some questions for you. Why? 

Why have you been following me and reading my posts? Why do you want to be in control of what manifests in your life? Why do you want to attract “all the things” and create a reality (aka. the “me-ality”) that you’ve always wanted?

What would be measurably different in your life if tomorrow morning you woke up and you had exactly what you wanted? That is a very important question - and one you HAVE to be crystal clear on before starting this journey. 

Or else you will quit. 

Why I quit my $100,000 a year job (while I was pregnant)

When I was in my 20’s — I was living with on my own (on and off). Making tons of money. Working in sales. My soon to be husband was living with his ex-gf at the time. Him and I were always into and in love with each other — but for the most part we never had the timing right.

To make a long story short, in 2008, I professed my love to him (after he professed his love to me a few times in the years prior). Only now had I FINALLY come to realize that he was the ONE for me - and he says no.

What makes this a really intensely spiritual experience for me, was because until this moment I truly believed that I didn’t have an intuition or “gut” instinct.

Weird right? 

I suddenly had realized what the unconscious truth was — and it turns out it was hidden from my conscious mind for so long. It made so much sense, however I never realized it.

Like God hit me with a miraculous epiphany, I finally realized that I loved this man and I was willing to do anything I could to be with him. I felt deep in my bones that we were meant to be together. But he said no. He was with someone and felt pretty angry about my delayed realization and we didn’t talk for about a year. Then one day, a year later, he said he’d broke it off and we had an amazing night together (obviously).

In that one night, we conceived our first daughter.

What are the odds?

A lot of things changed after that night and in the following months, for me. Everything in my professional life was changing. The market in 2008 was great, but 2009 was terrible. 

It started to seem to me like I would be out of a job soon too (while pregnant). It sucked. The only way I knew to get out of the situation was to just quit - the passion and inspiration just was just not there. However, every day, for 8 hours, I would work and work. 

There were three likely scenarios every time: 

Scenario #1: I would sit at my desk all day and feel complete anxiety and feel unfulfilled.
Scenario #2: I would sit at my desk all day and feel completely isolated by my boss and feel unfulfilled.
Scenario #3: I would sit at my desk all day and wish I was somewhere else and feel unfulfilled.

All three scenarios would always ended poorly for me.

Exactly one month into my pregnancy, was when everything started to fall apart. My internal stress, worry and anxiety levels were at an all­ time high, and my body was intensely reacting to it. I had a seizure in front of my boss in my bosses office. 

I went to the hospital, came home that night and had another seizure in my living room in front of Mika. And well... The next day I quit.

After I did that everything in my life started moving in a different direction.

One I could never have predicted.

I started feeling something within me waking up. I stopped taking the medication that I was on. I started eating healthier.

I felt like I finally had an intuition and an instinct. I listened to it and had to keep learning how to follow it.

Guess what happened to me when I left my job? 

I absolutely didn’t know what to do with myself. Which I thought at the time was more scarier to me than quitting because I couldn’t turn back. Eventually you too WILL hit a wall. I did. You will. Everyone does. You'll get confused ten times from Sunday about what you should do - and will probably want to give up or go back to doing things the same way as always.

Life will happen to you and you'll call it “fate”.

Or maybe you'll follow your bliss and inspiration for a while - only to later get derailed. Either way... the wall is coming. The dark night of the soul is coming.

Some event will happen in your life that will cause you to not be able to keep up anymore. 

What happens then? What happens when you take YOU out of your life? The wall. That's what.

Back to my key takeaway from the past 15-20 years. 

I hate anything fake and un-soulful. 

My goal for the past decade has been to figure out how to create a soulfully authentic life that didn't rely on me having to work “for the man” ever again. 

That’s honorable right? 

I didn’t know that my search for soulful authenticity would lead me through metaphysical realms and to experiencing a kundalini awakening.

From which I definitely could never go back.

To do what I wanted and have what I wanted in my life on purpose - also known as manifesting...

I was being guided to perpetually go further within. 

If you are thinking something like "by visualizing your insides?” No. lolz.

I needed to access my intuition and my higher self. This was going to be my guide to being “wall­ proof” and make it through those "dark nights".

I needed to learn how to communicate with my higher self, NOT rely on doubt, anxiety, fear and worry, and to stop giving these energies so much of my attention.

Then, after years of doing the work. I did it. I finally pieced it all together. 

After all these years of doing the searching, research, theory, practice and experimentation - I finally came across the framework and understanding that I'd been hunting for. 

The framework that I implemented for my own self can be applied to anyone so that they too can connect to their higher self, heal / take care of their soul (and shadow) AND live a life that doesn't involve living and being out of alignment or frustrating jobs, bosses and "working for the man". 

In fact, last year I coached hundreds of people from all different backgrounds to do the same things I have. 

Tomorrow, I’m going to show you the common mistakes people make when trying to start to follow their intuition and the framework I discovered for manifesting and creating a “magical” life that doesn't rely on anything, but YOU.

Soon, you'll be able to do exactly what I've done. I'll show you how.

Talk to you tomorrow!

♡ T x
MY LINKTREE

PS: Your homework assignment for today is to identify your goal and intention - your “what?" and your “why?" 

What is your goal and intention? 

What do you want to manifest and create in your life? Make it concrete, probable and delightful.

• Is it to quit your job and make $10,000 per month?
• Is it to get pregnant and have a baby?
• Is it to publish your first book and sell 5,000 copies? 
• Is it to attract a lover or a relationship?

Why do you want that? 

Do you want to quit your job and make $10k per month so you can be happier, focus on clients that you enjoy and have the freedom to travel with your family? 

Do you want to have a baby because you want to experience the gift of nurturing a life long bond and desire to hold a little baby in your arms?

Do you want to publish your book because someone told you that you never would and you want to prove them wrong? 

Do you want to launch your first app because you love programming and want to finally ship an actual product? 

There are a lot of things out of your control. But the starting line (your goal, intention, the what and the why) is in your control.

The universe handles everything else.

Your assignment for today is...

1. Identify your “what” and “why”.
2. Hit reply to this blog post below to comment and share them with me.
3. Tomorrow we'll take the next step. Together. 

PPS. If this resonates with you, I suggest you join my newsletter list by entering your email in the forms on this site so we can stay in touch.