on releasing judgmental thoughts about others
Hi love,
Yesterday I asked the community what you all wanted me to write about that you really want clarity on.
So here's one request on a topic that I've come to learn very well...
>> the practice of self acceptance when experiencing judgmental thoughts about “others”
Let me start off this by asking you straight up… How judgmental are you? No matter your answer, here's where you will gain the upper hand.
For the record, I’m a fairly judgmental person (I've been dubbed an INTJ on the Myers Briggs test), always have been judgemental, my whole life. I accept it and whatever.
Although, recently in the past few years I have been deeply desiring to do the work on transcending my judgmental-ness and becoming less critical of others — so perhaps what I’ve been doing in my practice on that, and recommendations will help you too.
First and foremost, whenever I catch myself thinking judgmental thoughts of others, I realize I am doing it again and placing them in a box, and this box says: this is what I believe is true about them, their personal behaviour, who they are as a person, "they can’t surprise me because this is who they are", etc.
So then with my knowing this, I know I have lost connection to my senses of compassion, empathy, compersion, and goodwill towards others, and have gotten myself placed and stuck in my own box as well (ie. as someone who “continually judges” in my reality).
For the sake of simplicity let’s assume we are simply talking about the following:
People in our lives.
People we see, know, interact with.
People we hate, have hurt us, have not forgiven.
People we have caused hurt or pain.
Let’s also remember that life is a mirror and we are energetic beings who are simply getting back (receiving) the storylines that we are putting our attention into, reflected back at us in life.
For the sake of simplicity let’s also assume we are simply talking about the following:
Only what we experience with our own awareness as witness and gentle observer.
Our personal day to day experiences.
What you see happening in the world around you (your life, and city, where you go and therefore anywhere you physically are).
This is where life get’s reflected back at you. This is where you see your own energy and what you think PLAY OUT. Make sense?
Now let me ask you…
Would you rather be “right” and therefore confused about why people are the way they are, why you always experience people being 'X', or would you actually rather become more open and allowing for “insight”, for people to surprise you, and for life to clean up certain messes instead?
Would you continue to allow yourself to knowingly waste your time and energy being judgmental of others, now knowing that it perpetuates the same kinds of stories that you most likely feel aversion and dislike towards happening in your life?
This is where we get it. This is where we finally can allow ourselves to take a minute, and admit, even with a neutral eye-roll, that all others are self (maybe not how we think we’d be, but still self nonetheless), and so…
Wouldn’t you be more inclined to see what you can do about laying off the stories that you think about others that keep playing, letting the stories/beliefs/thoughts/vrittis/conditions be offered up to dissolve, disappear, or be deleted by the holy mother and matrix that is your environment, extended body, and life?
Based on my personal experience and practice, I know that if I keep thinking whatever I keep thinking, then that energy will keep playing out. Period. That is just the way it is, and the same goes for you.
This all comes down to universal law, and just as it plays to our judgements, it can play to our openness in the good of others.
Important to make note:
You don’t have to agree with others way of life.
You don’t have to keep certain people in your life.
You simply just aren’t assuming anymore that you know how they should be!
But you do have to neutralize the reactive energy within you related to them.
That means the following practices are up for grabs if you want to improve your integrity and self acceptance in dealing with judgment…
Forgiving yourself and accepting the role you played in your life and scenario, well done. Accept and forgive the fact that it happened. Let the past be in the past. Do not replay memories.
Forgiving them for the role they played in your life and scenario, they did a great fn job doing it too. Accept and forgive the fact that it happened. Let the past be in the past. Do not replay memories.
Make it a priority to do a meditation (do it as you lay down in bed to go to sleep and are still slightly mentally active), one per person in your life, as required, where you are standing in front of them, have open mic and can say anything you need to say that will allow you to let go of the energy connecting the two of you, then finish it with a cutting of any sort of corded energy between you to, saying that now you are calling all your power back from them across all time, space, and dimensions, and a general sense of well wishing.
Continued letting go of any thoughts that pop up about them, stop allowing yourself to listen to thoughts, perpetuate any thoughts, add to them, continue the train of thought, etc.
When fully present and grounded, spend time practicing loving kindness towards both specific and random people, in your life (or use all the time in general), by embodying the ‘4 immeasurables’ (mudita, metta, karuna, upekkha), aka. brahamavihara. This massively increases your vibration while polarizing the energy with high frequency. As I have come to learn it, it goes: “May you be happy. May your good fortune increase. May you be free from shame and suffering. May you be free from attachment and aversion.”
Finally, once those have been practiced, imagine and think about experiencing newer, better, pleasing, desirable happenings instead, and what you would be doing with all your free time not silently judging others. Who would you be if you didn’t think those thoughts about others anymore? Who would you be if judgemental thoughts no longer replaced insight and knowledge and you allowed the universe show you who others are? (You can find my 30-Day mini course ‘Diary of a Mystic’ which will help you journal on and ask the right questions so that you can channel answers from your higher self — www.fxywlf.com/diary-of-a-mystic).
These practices go straight to your deep subconscious mind, and you will definitely see your perception change, especially towards others in dreams (especially after doing some of these practices before bed).
While awake in your day to day experience, after doing this practice you’ll notice that over time your inclinations, thoughts, focus, and the way you see things will change, and so will your experiences.
I love you all!
Love, Tara xx
ps. I support women with their goals, mindset, purpose. I am currently accepting 1:1 coaching in October & November. If you would like to find out more or book your session, go here.